glorycorrie & potamos

Journey our God let natural supernatural adventure with us


Wedding dress shopping with Jesus

Ever since I’ve been a Teenager I loved to dive into the world of weddings with all its glamour and romance. Every now and then I would buy a bridal magazine and loved looking at the various dresses, the wonderful flower arrangements, table decorations and everything else. I began to imagine what my wedding would be like one day. One day I found my absolute dream dress in one of those magazines; I must have been 18 or 19 at the time. I cut the picture out and put it into my Bible to keep it safe and hide it there. From time to time I would take the picture out and take a moment to dream of my wedding and the wonderful dress. After that I would put the picture back to its place.

Quite a few years went by and I was sometimes anxiously wondering if my big day would actually happen at all… And now it is almost here and I’m so happy about this wonderful guy who has been gifted to me by my Father in Heaven.

When Tom proposed to me and we set a date for the wedding I wanted to make sure that one of the first things I took care of was the wedding dress. At the beginning of the year I visited a wedding fair together with a friend of mine who is getting married this year, too. We gathered a lot of ideas and I took a leaflet from one of the booths that advertised wedding dresses.

Bevor I went there for the real appointment, I wanted to go there and have a look how the shop presented itself. It didn’t look very promising. I prayed and asked Jesus to show me in which shop He sees my wedding dress. There are so many bridal shops to choose from and I didn’t really want to run from one to another and try on 100 different dresses, only to find that I still didn’t know which one I liked. I still had this picture of “my dress”. Well, Jesus showed me very clearly that my dress would be found in the not very promising looking store.

To be honest I doubted this and arranged an appointment with another store initially. I went there together with my Mom and took my little picture with me, too. We had only just entered the shop and were almost still on the door step when my enquiry was brushed off with the advice that this kind of style (a dress with arms) is not in fashion at present. Allegedly everyone wants to present their arms and shoulders naked. I was told that I could maybe let a Bolero with the dress. But that didn’t come in line with what I had in mind. At the end of the day it was meant to be “my dress” and the one I would feel the most comfortable in.

We bid the shop farewell and made a spontaneous trip to the other shop which Jesus had shown me and which I didn’t have any hope for at all. We had no agreed appointment with them and it took us a 30 minute trip through Rush Hour traffic to get there. We arrived short before they closed and were asked to take a seat for a moment.

Moments later we were told to go and have a look at the section which presented all the wedding dresses to the customers. It was really very small. And right there it was! “My dress” was hanging there, slightly different than the one on my picture, but it is my dress. I tried it on and love it immediately. We also found the suitable accessories fairly quickly and they fitted very well, too. Both my Mom and the shop assistant were very happy. And the best thing – I had a 30 % Spring discount as well!

This experience has shown me once again that I can trust in Jesus to make everything perfect. Even when I have a different perception of the outward circumstances, His plan is coming together and beginning to work when I trust HIM – HE knows the whole picture!

And now I can’t wait to wear this wonderful dress very soon.


Supernatural peace

„The peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4,7)

Every now and then there are situations in life that steal the peace inside us. Do you experience that, too? Or is it just me? Situations where we react totally unspiritual even though we should know better. Situations where we feel so helpless and alone.

Recently I had such an experience. Over quite some time I had lots of problems with one tooth, after all a root canal treatment had to be done and even that did not really work out the way it is supposed to be. So I was sent to an Oral Surgeon, to cut off the root ends. I must confess I am NOT at all a Fan of Visits at the Dentist and now that … I was quite nervous. Due to several circumstances the surgery date had to be postponed. That did not really fill me with more anticipation for the upcoming surgery. The morning of the surgery I could sense how anxiety rose inside of me.

I did pray that God would be with me and take away my fear, but suddenly I realized, I had not taken over authority over those feelings of fear, authority I have through Christ Jesus. The above verse came to my mind. I spoke by faith and asked the Holy Spirit to fill my heart with His peace. I gave Him all fears and anxiety and trusted Him fully. It was amazing – minutes later I was totally at peace. I sensed how the Holy Spirit filled me and washed away all fear. When the time of the surgery got closer I was SO at peace. Wow! That was quite a lesson for me! I felt HIS presence during the entire surgery and knew I am comforted in HIM. The surgery went really well, there were no complications at all. I am so thankful to my heavenly Daddy for that and also for this “real life” lesson.

Try it out! You will experience that, too. Hand over to God situations that you can’t handle, he will take your hand and guide you through the fog into His glorious light. He is faithful to His promises!


The wedding suit

Another story from the God cares category:

I’ve been looking around for the right wedding suit for a few weeks and I was considering if I should hire or buy the suit. The arguments for hiring were mainly financial as the hire appeared to be much cheaper. However, it would have still been a substantial amount. It felt wrong to spend a considerable amount on a hire outfit, only to give it back after the wedding. That’s just like throwing money out your window.

Therefore, I decided to look around for purchase options that were within my price range. I found that Marks & Spencer sell suits on their website that were reasonably priced. And despite not being too expensive, I still knew the individual items wouldn’t be made in sweat shops. I went to the shop in Cardiff and they didn’t have them there. I was told they would only be available to order online.

I had some great customer service in the men’s clothing section and got to try on some standard suits from the same range the wedding suits would be from. This helped to find out the right sizes for the jacket and the trousers as well as the shirt.

At the time I would have been able to borrow the money from someone and buy the suit. I was expecting some money from shared of the company I work for and would have used that to pay it back. I was close to making this decision, when I had the impression that God was telling me to wait as there would be a sale on men’s clothing very soon.

About 4 weeks later I received an email from Marks and Spencer that announcent 20 % off on all suits. So I thought to myself that this wouldn’t include the special wedding suits. But I went online to check anyway. By that time I still didn’t have the shares money, but expected it the week after. And yes, the wedding outfits were included in the offer! YES! Awesome!

Corrie was so kind to give me the money until the week after and I ordered the suit, went to the shop to try it on and it is a perfect fit. I absolutely love it! Funny thing is, my favourite part of the whole suit are the cufflinks.

I’ve saved quite a lot with this deal and I’m glad I listened to the still voice inside of me and waited. I’m really looking forward to our big day!


The ring drama

God takes care! He really does!

A few days ago I thought I had lost the precious little silver ring Corrie had given me as a surprise on our engagement. And I’m almost sure it was actually lost. I had searched my room for it, my home office and my two backpacks. I didn’t just search them once, I checked several times over a period of two days.

The situation became more and more desperate. I desired to tell Corrie about it, but I also didn’t want to hurt her with this revelation. This was a very personal gift and such things are hardly ever replaceable.

On the evening of the third day I had made my mind up that I would tell Corrie. But just before I wanted to do that I felt I just pray. I had prayed during my search and in the past 99.5 % of things I’ve been looking for have been found seconds after prayer. Not this time, it seemed.

So I said: “Dad, couldn’t you just let an angel find that ring and get it to drop the ring right here, right now in my backpack? That would be awesome!” And by faith I put my hand into my backpack and the first thing my fingers touched was the ring! Hallelujah! The conversation with Corrie that followed was a much happier one.


Sing to the LORD a new song

„O sing to the Lord a new song, for He has done wonderful things…

 Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth; Break forth and sing for joy and sing praises.” (Psalm 98,1.4)

 

This verse literally hit me the other day. We are very good in singing God the songs we know, the songs that are written down on paper, in songbooks, in hymn books,… we stick to what is written down, some of us sing louder, others prefer not to sing, because someone might have said “You can’t sing”. But what does this scripture tell us?! Right! It is talking about a NEW song! What is a new song? Right! One that has never been there before. You might say, “I am not a singer. I am not a Poet, I am not a writer, etc.” Guess what, the least of us are, BUT, our heavenly Papa LOVES our worship, He loves when we sing to Him our praises, when we love on HIM with our voices, when we thank Him for who He is and what He has done for us.

There are Millions of songs, melodies, rhythms, symphonies in heaven that are just waiting to be downloaded to earth. We are the vessels God wants to use to bring this NEW song, this new sound, the very sound of HEAVEN to earth.

You don’t have to be a perfect singer to sing, all you have to be is an extravagant lover of the most amazing God! I greatly encourage you, just look to Papa God, see His beauty, open your mouth (don’t be ashamed!!!) and let it flow, in the beginning it might sound funny, just let it flow. It’s just like with everything, we learn and grow as we practice …. Start right now. Sing to HIM a new song!

I have so many stories when God invaded my simple worship, I start singing in tongues and soon after words and melodies fill my spirit that are just so heavenly. I LOVE those moments when He invades my worship. When we sing to Him that new song, we often times even prophesy into out very life situations, calling forth the things He already has ready to bless us with. As we sing it out, we release it. Don’t you want ALL HE has for you?!

Be encouraged and start singing to HIM your new song today!

 


How desperate are you?

It’s Pentecost. I remember always wondering what Pentecost is anyways as a kid. When I finally understood it I found it interesting how those “little flames” came on everybody’s heads in the upper room, back on that first Pentecost. And guess what there was no difference between male & female – no pink and blue flames – they were all the same and the Holy Spirit fell on ALL flesh in the same way! This just causes a loud shout of HALLELUJAH right from my spirit. God makes NO difference between Men and Women. We are ALL called by HIS spirit! Wow!

“When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place.  Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.  They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them.  All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Acts 2,1-4

 I have been pondering about Jesus disciples the past few days. Have you ever thought about all the things they had to “digest” in those few days. Their beloved Jesus, the Man that taught them EVERYTHING was put to death in the cruelest way ever, they put Him in a grave and while they were still mourning in the Upper Room, Mary came rushing in with the news that an Angel had appeared to her, to tell her that Jesus was resurrected, that He was gone from the grave…Peter rushed there to see it with his own eyes, I guess I would have been doubting what Mary said just like Thomas…. And then while they were walking along the road to Emmaus, chatting away about all that happened in the past days, suddenly Jesus was there with them. I would have been rather confused, I tell you! Can you imagine that? Jesus was with them on the road, then He even ate with them at the Lake …have you ever wondered where that fish went in His resurrected body?!

And then He gave them a big commissioning before he ascended – look it up in Mark 16. Gosh! He even said that His disciples – and us also – would do even greater things than He did?! Jesus! You did the most amazing things ever! How could we do even greater things? We are just Human beings! Wait! Jesus told them to WAIT – He promised them that He was gonna send them the Helper, the Holy Spirit! They didn’t have to do all that from their own strength, that would be impossible anyways. He was gonna send them HIS power through the Holy Spirit. He told them to wait!

Have you ever wondered what the Disciples felt like in those days? They waited in the Upper Room. They knew that Jesus’ promises are true, they got to witness it SO many times. But what if…..?! How long would they have to wait for? What would that Helper look like? How was he gonna come to them? Lots of questions! How would He recognize them? I know, I would have had SO many questions….and Jesus was gone, they could not ask Him anymore. They had to wait….patiently for His promise to be fulfilled.

How are you feeling when God promised you something and you are still waiting for this promise to be fulfilled? Do you trust Him? Are you full of “when?” and “Why do I have to wait to so long?” questions? Believe me, I am SO with you!

You have to be very desperate to trust HIM that He will fulfill ALL that He has promised. He IS faithful, that’s for sure. So, please trust HIM, HE will never let you down nor leave you, HIS word is true and HE will come through with the Promise HE has given you for your life!

I guess the disciples where very surprised with the way the Holy Spirit fell on them. He LOVES to surprise us!

Please, don’t put Him in a box of how you want Him to bless you. Allow Him to bless and fill you the way He wants to, that’s SO much better than our little thinking can imagine! He is BIG and His ideas are plentiful.

Be desperate for HIM, be desperate for ALL He has for you. Let Him fill and refresh you over and over again!

Keep coming Holy Spirit!


Healing for the Fatherland

Today I would like to take you with me and tell you the story of how God has given me a love for our country in place of what used to be thoughts of rejection and a the desire to flee the country as soon as possible:

I grew up in “The East of Germany”, a child of the GDR so to speak. The Berlin Wall came down when I was 10 years old. My family had always believed that there would be a reunion of the two countries and this hope was based on a prophetic word Reinhard Bonnke had received before he went to Africa as an evangelist. Of course no one knew what that would look like.

We had already experienced some wonderful charismatic awakenings back then – in the GDR times – and I was used to experiencing God. I made my decision for Jesus fairly early in life and lived in a close relationship with Him.

When the Berlin wall came down I was convinced in my childlike faith that the two countries had finally united. But 20 years later I find it painful to see how deep the wounds of the separation still are, how much prejudice there still is on both sides and that a lot of Heavenly healing blessing still need to flow. A lot of people from The East have gone to The West, because it looked like the land of milk and honey to them. There were promises of better jobs and higher wages. This led to our part of the country bleeding out of the young people, leaving the elderly behind. There were literally regions where all young people had gone, only the older generations were left behind and hopelessness was spreading.

I didn’t really have an eye for all of that for a long time and all I was concerned about was trying to get away from this nation and go somewhere else in the world. I was looking at various options and when foreign visitors where praising the beauty of Germany I always thought to myself: “Its so much nicer where you come from or in these other countries.” I couldn’t find anything beautiful about Germany. I was so ashamed for Germany’s recent history and was dreading to answer “Germany” whenever someone asked me where I was from.

It was my desire that God would give Revival to Germany and people would receive healing in body, soul and spirit. But I couldn’t find any love for my people inside myself.

Grabbing the first opportunity I went to a school of ministry in Canada. I loved it there; the people and their way of living. I experienced a lot of healing in many areas of my being, but the “well protected wall” around my difficult relationship to Germany kept standing tall until we were sent on to an outreach to the USA for one month. We took part in an intercessory conference there and I thought one of the speakers was very crazy. But one of the sentences she said hit bull’s-eye in my heart and this one sentence has thrown my life upside down and changed me. She said: “If you want to see change in your nation or your city, then you have to stand in the gap for it and pray for it before the Father.” Suddenly, it felt like scales were falling off my eyes and I saw the amount of hate for Germany which I unknowingly carried inside of me and that I had never really prayed for my nation. I broke down in front of the altar und cried my eyes out. I asked God to forgive me for my attitude, gave Him all the hate and asked Him to give me love for my homeland.

When the plane was landing in Germany on my trip back from the school of ministry, when I got off the plane and during the whole car trip home, the beauty of Germany amazed me. For the first time I could see this nation with a passionate love and a fire for our country had been awoken on the inside of me.

I had another key moment 2 months after the school of ministry. I had been writing worship songs for years, but the lyrics were always in English. One day I was worshiping Jesus and He said to me: “If you really want to reach your nation through your songs and for them to lead the people into my presence, they need to be in German.” And again it felt like scales falling off my eyes and I saw how deep the rejection for my nation was rooted. I was even renouncing my mother tongue! I repented once again and ask God to forgive me. And within a few short minutes He gave me a really precious song, which has led many people into His presence since then. Wow! God is so good.

A lot of years have gone by since all of this happened and I’m privileged to experience how God touches our country and gives healing. I also had the privilege to serve alongside many men and women of God from all over the world and to make “my” country palatable to them. J God has replaced the hate with a deep love for our nation. He has also given me a special love and a holy zeal for “The East” with the aim to experience him right here and to make Him known in this area. We have experienced Signs and Wonders here and there, but I’m expecting SO much more. I’m looking forward to how this adventure will proceed. God is good and I have the privilege to experience how He is healing hearts, closing wounds and how He is working reconciliation amongst us. Wow!

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Den deutschen Beitrag findest du hier.


When God steps in – Wenn Gott eingreift

Since Tom and I got engaged, I feel like something completely new has been released in me and it is so exciting to discover that.

A little while back we now set our wedding date – which is SO exciting!!! – and I thought in my naïve thinking that it would be easy to find a venue with 6 months time… but I was SO wrong, I felt a bit like Mary and Joseph must have felt, I got rejected everywhere, all Restaurants and official venues are booked out – literally every weekend, unbelievable. The date we picked for our Wedding has a meaning to us and I just knew in my Spirit that God would make a way. So I gave God our Day and prayed with childlike faith that HE would work a creative miracle, literally opening something up for us that was booked before and to top it – in our favorite location.

In the meantime we’ve been considering to switch to Friday or Sunday, but that would make it harder for our International Guests to come…. I kept believing and then I got to witness how ABBA stepped in and literally created OUR space…. I felt that I must call that one Restaurant again, the same Lady as the week before was on the line (yay!). I told her that I had called a week earlier – she remembered – and asked her about Friday or Sunday in our desired week.

She said “They are both free. But your favorite date was that Saturday, right?”

Me “Yes!“  (inside I was giggling already, knowing what was about to happen – because GOD just rocks!)

She “Well, we do have a 30th birthday reservation, but they didn’t give us any numbers, wait a second, please. I am gonna talk to the boss….. well, you are in!“

All Glory to God, it was SO easy! Just letting GOD do what HE prepared already. That was another “life lesson” for me – to not strive! If God prepared it, he will do it no matter what it is! And I get to watch HIM to do.

Be encouraged Friend – let God be God in your life and follow HIS direction!

 

 

Seit Tom und ich verlobt sind, spüre ich, dass in mir etwas vollkommen Neues freigesetzt ist.  Es ist so spannend das zu entdecken.

Vor einer Weile haben wir unseren Hochzeitstermin festgelegt – dass allein ist schon SO spannend!!! – in meinem naiven Denken dachte ich, dass 6 Monate im Voraus bei Weitem ausreichen eine Lokalität zu finden. Aber ich lag vollkommen daneben! Ich fühlte mich ein bisschen wie Maria und Josef sich gefühlt haben müssen, überall bekam ich Absagen, alle Restaurants und Festsäle waren fett ausgebucht – wirklich jedes Wochenende, unglaublich! Das Datum was wir als Hochzeitsdatum ausgesucht haben, hat für uns eine Bedeutung. Ich wusste in meinem Geist, dass Gott einen Weg bahnen würde. Also gab ich Gott unseren Tag ab und betete mit kindlichem Vertrauen, dass ER ein kreatives Wunder wirken würde und etwas frei würde was vorher belegt war – um das Ganze noch zu einem größeren Wunder zu machen – in unserem Wunschlokal.

Mittlerweile überlegten wir auf Freitag oder Sonntag zu gehen, aber dann wäre es für unsere internationalen Gäste schwieriger zu kommen…. Ich glaubte weiter und konnte dann zuschauen wie ABBA einschritt und unseren Platz schuf. Ich spürte dass ich im Wunschlokal erneut anrufen soll, die selbe Dame wie die Woche war am Apparat, ich sagte ihr mein Anliegen, sie erinnerte sich an mich, ich fragte nach Freitag/Sonntag.

Sie sagte, „Das ist beides frei, aber sie wollten am liebsten den Samstag, richtig?”

Ich, “Ja” (in mir fing ich schon an zu jubeln, weil ich wusste was gleich passieren würde – weil Gott einfach genial ist!)

Sie, “nun da steht eine Geburtstagsfeier drin, aber die haben nur erst mal reserviert und wir haben keine weiteren Daten. Moment, ich rede mal mit dem Chef……der Chef sagt, sie können am Samstag hier feiern.”

Alle Ehre sei Gott, es war so leicht! Ich erlaubte Gott einfach das zu tun was Er schon vorbereitet hatte. Das war für mich eine echte „Lebenslektion“ – ich muss mich nicht abmühen. Wenn Gott es vorbereitet hat, wird er es auch tun – ganz egal was es ist! Und ich kann Ihm einfach dabei zuschauen wie Er es tut.

Sei ermutigt, liebe/r Freund/in – erlaube Gott, Gott zu sein in deinem Leben und folge Seiner Richtung!


A hard, hating heart melted and molded – Ein hartes, hassendes Herz geschmolzen und geformt

Introduction to the testimony, some of the background story:

I made a conscious decision to live my life as a follower of Christ and a child of God when I was in my mid teens. Around that time I also found out that my Dad wasn’t actually my biological father, but that he had adopted me.

Having him in my life has always been very important and I would never see him as anything different, than my Dad. But the news still unnerved me quite a bit. More so, because my biological father had made a runner as soon as he found out that I was on the way. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly “planned”. Let’s just leave it at that.

Despite having just become a new creation in Christ, I started to develop quite a bit of hate for my biological father. So I didn’t really start to look for him, despite being curious what he may look like and what kind of a person he is. If I would have looked for him and if I had found him, I would have wanted him dead. That’s how mad I was at him for leaving my Mom and me.

This feeling lasted roughly until I became 16. For the next 2 years I thought about finding him, just to give him a good beating. I was still so full of rage.

At the age of 18 I calmed down a bit more. I still hadn’t attempted to look for him, as I didn’t really want to follow through what my feelings were telling me. Now I was at a point where I wanted to find him just to get some financial gain out of him. Still not the right attitude, I know…

When I turned 20 I was finally at a point where I was ready to forgive him. I was ready to see things from his perspective and to just get to know him for who he is. No hidden agenda, no thoughts of revenge. So this time I had the courage to go and look. My Mom and my grandparents gave me some clues as to where he used to live. I found one of his sisters with the help of my best friend. She gave me all his details and I eventually made “the phone call”. As you can imagine, he was very surprised to hear from me. But fair play, he invited me for his birthday a few months down the line.

The whole visit was a disaster. His current wife was very suspicious of me and he still had the same issues my Mom had warned me about. I had to cut the visit short and leave earlier than we had planned.

Upon my return all the thoughts of hatred from the past had come back and I hated him with an even greater passion.

I’m purposely keeping some details very vague in this introduction as this is a public blog and I’m not writing this to embarrass anyone in my family. If you’re interested in more details, I invite you to have a chat with me.

Anyway, let’s come to the good part.

The Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship (TACF) and the worldwide Catch The Fire Network (CTF) arranged a Father Loves You conference in Dresden, just around the corner from where my grandparents live.

At the time the conference was announced I had been interested in TACF and teachings on the Father’s love since about 1999. This meant I was very interested in attending. Little did I know how much Father God had in store for me for those few days, isn’t He just so good?!

Jack Frost led one of the teaching sessions and it was all about the fathers and men in our lives. Initially I was very comfortable listening to Jack sharing about his father’s mistakes and Jack’s own mistakes as a father and how he experienced the Father heart of God for himself and what goes along with it, such as forgiveness and healing. None of this had much to do with myself and subconsciously I kept it all at a safe distance.

There came a point where Jack’s sharing turned and became very personal. He started talking about the fathers of those in the audience. He talked about their issues, failures, mistakes and problems. He talked about the difference between our perfect Heavenly Father and our earthly fathers and manly role models. And he shared about the importance of forgiving those that had done us wrong in small or bigger ways.

To say I wasn’t happy is an understatement. I didn’t think there was much my Dad (adoptive father) had done wrong, so forgiving him was an easy thing to do. But I strictly and purposely ignored any notions to forgive my biological father.

Then came a ministry time and we were invited to step out of our seats and go to an area where the ministry team could minister to us.

To be fair, I went there for a blessing, maybe even a “buzz”. I wasn’t prepared for what God had in store:

When I stepped on to my place in the line I suddenly had an open vision. I found myself in a pram and could see through my own eyes as a newborn, just a few days old. All I saw was the cover of the pram and a bit of the sky. Suddenly I could see the face of my biological father looking into the pram. He quickly looked and went. The vision ended there.

A young man from the ministry team approached me. I personally thought he was “too young” to minister to be on the topic of forgiving our fathers. I desired to speak to one of the older guys. Never mind, he turned out to be a great, humble and anointed man of God.

I shared the vision with him that I just had and he asked me to close my eyes and prayed a simple prayer: “Jesus, would you please come and show Tom where you were in this situation?”

In an instant the vision returned. This time I had my eyes closed and I saw it from the perspective of a spectator. It appeared like the view of a camera, almost like a cinema movie.

I saw my Mom and her sister stand in a park, with my Mom holding the handle bar of the pram I was in. My biological father stepped into the scene. He approached the two women and the pram. He look into the pram, tried to give my Mom some sort of gift and it looked like my aunt started arguing with him and sent him away. He walked off without looking back.

Next thing this other guys stepped into the scene. There was an immediate sense of love and awe that I could feel. He was casually dressed in what I can only describe as some sort of linen trousers and shirt in a very light cream colour. I knew in an instant that He was Jesus. I tried looking into His face and it felt like I could zoom in with a camera. But all I could ever catch were His lips and His eyes. I was never able to see the whole face.

He wore a tender, but sure looking smile on His face. And I will never forget His eyes: They were like a mixture of fire, oceans full of water, waterfalls and very clear, sparkling diamonds. There was a passion and kind of “liquid love” in His eyes. One look into them satisfied me forever and made me more hungrier than ever at the same time.

Jesus walked up to the pram, took Baby Thomas (myself) out, threw me into the air whilst laughing and caught me again. Then he walked to my Mom, gave her a kiss on the cheek and stood right next to her with me on His arm, almost as if to pose for an official family portrait.

He wanted to show me that I am part of His family. No matter what anyone else had decided. He had welcomed me. He had accepted me and He had most definitely planned me. He was also so proud to show me off.

There the second vision ended.

I had a third vision that only lasted a few seconds. I was in the throne room of God and I looked at the throne. I could see this immense, huge being on a throne. Where there was meant to be a face, I could only see blinding light, but it was not uncomfortable to look into. For a few seconds a very sad looking face of my biological father appeared in front of the light, almost as if God had taken on my father’s face. And I heard the words: “Please will you allow me to help you forgive him? He didn’t know better and would have never known better. That’s why I have put your Dad into your life. So that you would have a real Dad that took care of your Mom and you and loved you dearly.”

I just cried. I cried a long time and after a while this guy from the ministry team and I went through some prayers of forgiveness for my father and other males in my life that had failed me.

I cannot begin to describe to you how much of a difference this has made inside of me. But a massive healing process started there and I was also given the privilege to minister to quite a few others in the Father’s love since then.

After the conference was over I told my Mom about this experience. It brought a lot of healing to her, too! She confirmed that the scene I had seen in my two visions had actually happened and was the last time my biological father had seen me until I met him again at the age of 20.

Isn’t God just so good? Do you have any experience with God’s fatherly love that you’d like to share? Why don’t you leave us a comment?

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Einführung ins Zeugnis und Hintergrundgeschichte:

Ungefähr in der Mitte meiner Teenager Jahre machte ich eine bewusste Entscheidung mein Leben als ein Nachfolger Christi und ein Kind Gottes zu leben. Und in dieser Zeit habe ich auch erfahren, dass mein Vati nicht mein leiblicher Vater war, sondern mich adoptiert hatte.

Für mich war er in meinem Leben schon immer sehr wichtig und ich könnte ihn nie als jemanden anderen sehen als meinen rechtmäßigen, wirklichen Vati. Aber diese Neuigkeiten haben mich damals trotzdem ganz schön verunsichert. Viel mehr noch, als ich herausfand, dass mein leiblicher Vater weggelaufen war sobald er herausgefunden hatte, dass ich „unterwegs“ war. Ich würde mal einfach sagen, dass ich nicht wirklich „geplant“ war. Und dabei belassen wir es.

Trotz ich gerade eine neue Schöpfung in Christi geworden war, begann ich doch einen regelrechten Hass für meinen leiblichen Vater zu entwickeln. Deshalb hatte ich nicht wirklich begonnen nach ihm zu suchen, auch wenn ich neugierig war wie er aussieht und was für eine Person er ist. Hätte ich nach ihm gesucht und ihn eventuell sogar gefunden, ich hätte dafür sorgen wollen, dass er auf irgendeine Weise stirbt. So zornig war ich auf ihn dafür, dass er meine Mutti und mich verlassen hatte.

Dieses Gefühl dauerte an bis ich ungefähr 16 war. Die 2 Jahre danach dachte ich dann darüber nach ihn zu finden um ihm mal ordentlich eine reinzuhauen. Ich war immer noch voller Wut.

Mit 18 hatte ich mich dann etwas mehr beruhigt. Ich hatte immer noch keine Anstalten gemacht ihn zu suchen, denn ich wollte nicht wirklich ernsthaft das tun, was meine Emotionen mir so erzählten. Da war ich an einem Punkt, wo ich von den anderen Ideen abgerückt war und mir aus der Geschichte einfach nur finanziellen Vorteil verschaffen wollte. Natürlich war das immer noch die falsche Einstellung…

Als ich 20 Jahre alt wurde, war ich endlich an dem Punk, wo ich sogar bereit war ihm zu vergeben. Ich war bereit die Dinge von seiner Perspektive zu betrachten und ihn einfach nur kennenzulernen, ohne Hintergedanken und ohne Gedanken der Rache. Diesmal hatte ich dann den Mut mich auf die Suche zu machen. Meine Mutti und meine Großeltern gaben mir ein paar Anhaltspunkte darüber wo er und seine Verwandten ursprünglich herkamen. Ich fand dann eine seiner Schwestern mit Hilfe meines besten Freundes. Sie gab mir sehr schnell alle Kontakt Details meines leiblichen Vaters und ich machte irgendwann „den Anruf“. Wie du dir vorstellen kannst war er sehr überrascht von mir zu hören. Aber er war immerhin bereit mich ein paar Monate später zu seinem Geburtstag einzuladen.

Der ganze Besuch bei ihm war eine einzige Katastrophe. Seine Frau fand mich von Anfang an verdächtig und sprach außer der Begrüßung kein Wort mit mir und mein leiblicher Vater hatte immer noch die gleichen Probleme, vor denen mich meine Mutti liebevoll gewarnt hatte, bevor ich abfuhr. Ich musste den Besuch sehr viel früher unterbrechen als geplant.

Nach meiner Rückkehr kamen all die vergangenen Gedanken des Hasses sehr stark zurück und sie wurden noch mal um einiges verstärkt.

Ich habe absichtlich einige Details sehr wage gehalten in dieser Einleitung. Dies ist ein öffentlicher Blog und ich hab dies nicht aufgeschrieben mit dem Zweck irgendjemanden in meiner Familie zu beschämen. Wenn du Interesse an mehr Details hast, lade ich dich ein, dich doch mal mit mir in Verbindung zu setzen.

Aber lasst uns mal zum guten Teil kommen:

Die Christliche Flughafen Toronto Gemeinde (TACF) und das weltweite Empfang Das Feuer Netzwerk (CTF) hatten in Dresden, Sachsen eine Konferenz organisiert, welche gleich um die Ecke von der Wohnung meiner Großeltern stattfand.

Zur Zeit als die Konferenz angekündigt wurde,  hatte ich mich seit 1999 mit Interesse mit TACF und ihren Lehren über die Vater Liebe Gottes auseinandergesetzt. Das hatte mein Interesse an einer Teilnahme an der Konferenz geweckt. Noch wusste ich nichts von dem größeren Plan unseres Himmlischen Papas, welchen Er für diese Tage bereit hielt. Ist Er nicht einfach wunderbar?!

Jack Frost lehrte während einer der Einheiten und diese Session behandelte das Thema Vergebung für die Väter und männlichen Vorbilder in unseren Leben. Es ging mir sehr gut dabei Jack dabei zuzuhören wie er über die Fehler seines Vaters und seine eigenen Fehler als Vater erzählte. Und auch wie er das Vater Herz Gottes erlebt hatte und was dadurch mit ihm passiert war. Bereitschaft zur Vergebung, Heilung usw. Nichts von alledem hatte meiner Meinung nach irgendwas mit mir zu tun und unbewusst hielt ich das alles in sicherer Entfernung von mir.

Dann kam der Punkt an dem der Vortrag sich leicht drehte und sehr persönlich wurde. Jack begann über die Väter der Leute in der Halle zu sprechen. Er sprach ihre Fehler, ihr Versagen, ihr Versauen und ihre Probleme an. Er zeigte den Unterschied zwischen unserem perfekten Himmlischen Vater und den irdischen Vätern und männlichen Vorbildern. Darüber hinaus lehrte er über die Wichtigkeit denen zu vergeben die uns auf kleine und große Art verletzt hatten.

Zu sagen, dass ich darüber nicht amüsiert war, ist eine starke Untertreibung. Ich war nicht der Meinung, dass mein Adoptivvater viel falsch gemacht hatte und ihm die paar Dinge zu vergeben war einfach. Aber ich war unbedingt und absichtlich darauf aus alle Ermutigungen meinem leiblichen Vater zu vergeben zu ignorieren.

Dann gab es eine Segnungs- und Gebetszeit und wir wurden eingeladen aus den Sitzreihen herauszutreten und zu einem anderen Bereich zu gehen, wo Gebet und Gespräch mit dem Gebetsteam angeboten wurden.

Um ehrlich zu sein, ich ging hin um einen geistlichen „Kick“ zu erleben. Ich war nicht auf das vorbereitet was Gott für mich bereit hielt:

Als ich meinen Platz an der aufgezeichneten Linie betrat, hatte ich plötzlich eine offene Vision. Ich fand mich selbst in meinem Kinderwagen wieder, schaute durch meine eigenen Augen als ein wenige Tage altes, neugeborenes Baby. Alles was ich sah war der Wetterschutz des Kinderwagens und ein bisschen vom Himmel. Plötzlich sah ich wie das Gesicht meines leiblichen Vaters in den Kinderwagen hinein schaute. Er schaute nur ganz kurz und ging wieder aus meinem Blickfeld. Dort endete die Vision.

Ein junger Mann vom Gebetsteam kam auf mich zu. Ich dachte so für mich, dass er doch viel zu jung sei um mir mit diesem ernsten Problem der Vergebung für unsere Väter zu helfen. Ich hatte mir eigentlich gewünscht mit einem der älteren Männer im Team zu sprechen. Aber im Grunde war das Quatsch, denn es stellte sich heraus das er ein sehr demütiger und gesalbter Mann Gottes war.

Ich erzählte ihm von der Vision die ich gerade erlebte und er bat mich meine Augen zu schließen und betete ein einfaches Gebet: „Jesus, bitte komm und zeig Tom wo du in dieser Situation warst.“

Ohne Verzögerung kehrte die Vision zurück, nur hatte ich sie diesmal mit geschlossenen Augen. Auch konnte ich die Szene diesmal als Zuschauer betrachten und war nicht mitten drin. Es erschien wie eine Kameraperspektive, fast wie im Kinofilm.

Ich sah meine Mutti und ihre Schwester auf einem Fleckchen Gras in einem Park stehen. Meine Mutti hielt den Griff des Kinderwagens fest. Dann trat mein leiblicher Vater ins Bild. Er ging auf die beiden Frauen und den Kinderwagen zu. Er schaute in den Kinderwagen hinein, versuchte meiner Mutti irgendein Geschenk zu überreichen und es sah so aus, als fing meine Tante an mit ihm zu streiten und ihn fort zu schicken. Er drehte sich um und lief weg ohne sich noch einmal umzuschauen.

Als Nächstes tauchte ein weitere Mann im Bild auf: Sofort spürte ich Liebe und auch ein Gefühl von Staunen und Ehrfurcht. Er war normal angezogen und hatte eine Art Leinen Hose und Hemd in einer hellen Creme Farbe an. Irgendwie wusste ich sofort,  dass war Jesus. Ich versuchte Ihm ins Gesicht zu schauen und es fühlte sich so an, als könne ich mit meiner „Kamera“ an ihn ran zoomen. Aber alles was ich sehen konnte waren immer entweder nur Seine Augen oder sein Mund. Ich sah nie das ganze Gesicht.

Er hatte ein zärtliches, aber sehr sicheres Lächeln auf seinen Lippen. Und ich werde niemals Seine Augen vergessen: Die waren eine Mischung aus Feuer, Meere voller Wasser, Wasserfälle und sehr klare, glitzernde Diamanten. Da war Leidenschaft und eine Art flüssig gewordene Liebe in Seinen Augen. Ein Blick in diese Augen machte mich auf ewig satt und gleichzeitig so hungrig wie noch nie.

Jesus lief zu dem Kinderwagen, nahm Baby Thomas (also mich) raus, warf mich lachend in die Luft und fing mich wieder auf. Dann lief er zu meiner Mutti, gab ihr einen Kuss auf die Wange und stellte sich genau neben sie, während Er mich weiter auf Seinem Arm hielt. Fast so, als würde Er für ein offizielles Familienfoto posieren.

Er wollte mir zeigen, dass ich Teil Seiner Familie bin. Es war egal was Andere entschieden hatten, Er hatte mich willkommen geheißen. Er hatte mich angenommen und Er hatte mich definitiv auch geplant. Er war auch so stolz mich allen zu zeigen.

Dort endete die zweite Vision.

Ich hatte eine dritte Vision, aber diese hielt nur für ein paar Sekunden. Ich fand mich im Thronsaal Gottes wieder und schaute direkt auf den Thron. Ich konnte ein riesiges, sehr hochgewachsenes Wesen auf dem Thron sehen. Dort wo man hätte ein Gesicht erwartet, sah ich nur blendend, weißes Licht. Aber es war nicht schlimm das Licht anzuschauen. Für ein paar Sekunden schob sich das Gesicht meines leiblichen Vaters vor dieses Licht. Fast so als ob Gott sein Gesicht aufgesetzt hätte. Und ich hörte folgende Worte: „Wirst du mir erlauben dir zu helfen ihm zu vergeben? Er wusste es nicht besser und hätte es auch nie anders gewusst. Das ist der Grund, warum ich dir deinen Vati gegeben habe. So das du einen echten Vater hast, der sich um dich und deine Mutter kümmert und euch von Herzen liebt.“

Da begann ich zu weinen und ich weinte eine lange Zeit. Nach einer Weile ging ich mit dem jungen  Mann vom Gebetsteam durch ein paar Gebete der Vergebung für meinen leiblichen Vater und andere Männer in meinem Leben, die mich enttäuscht hatten.

Ich weiß nicht wo ich beginnen soll zu beschreiben was für einen Unterschied dies alles in mir drin machte. Gott fing an diesem Abend einen massiven Heilungsprozess an und Er hat mir auch das Privileg gegeben seit dem auch einigen anderen in der Liebe unseres Vaters zu dienen.

Nach der Konferenz erzählte ich meiner Mutti von meinem Erlebnis. Das brachte auch ihr ein ganzes Stück Heilung! Sie bestätigte, dass diese Szene die ich in den beiden ersten Visionen gesehen hatte, sich genauso in Wirklichkeit abgespielt hatte. Das war das letzte Mal das mein leiblicher Vater mich gesehen hatte, bis ich ihn dann mit 20 aufsuchte.

Gott ist so gut! Gibt es eine Erfahrung die du mit der Vaterliebe Gottes gemacht hast und die du gern teilen würdest? Hinterlass doch einen Kommentar.