I’m a child of the former GDR*. My family were believers even back then, hence why they were very interesting for a certain Little Miss “Wanting To Know It All”. During the 70s my Mom heard a prophecy Reinhard Bonnke shared. He had received a very clear word from God, that the two German countries would be reunited. How that was supposed to happen was of course a question only God could answer (Isn’t that the same with every prophecy?), but we believed it, prayed over it and expected it to come to pass.
When it finally happened, we sat around the coffee table – crying our eyes out. As a 10 year old I was of course wondering why Mom was actually crying. For this always meant that we were finally going to be able to travel to the West and I could finally buy a Barbie husband for my Barbie. … the hearts of children!
During my childhood I had unconsciously received some form of an apathy towards our country (the GDR). This wasn’t something passed to me by my family, but it was just something that developed over time. We were free now and my only desire as a Teenager was to get away from were we lived, preferably to go to some other nation somewhere.
During my youth I started to imagine where I could be living and was surely happy to “finally get away from here”. During the time before and after The Turnaround that’s exactly what happened. More and more people left the country because there were better jobs available elsewhere. Many areas in the east of Germany were literally dying out, people of the age group below 30 didn’t exist anymore. Many places turned into sad and lifeless regions.
But despite thinking about escaping this country I always desired for God to touch our nation with His love. And I didn’t just want this for the East of Germany, but the whole re-united country of Germany.
Over and over again I had to endure how others sneered at me for coming from “The East” and made some cruel comments, too. They reached their target and were quite hurtful at times. As of course it was still my home country, despite all the thoughts of escape going through my mind.
Sometimes people from other countries would visit and praise the beauty of Germany. To that I would usually show a friendly smile, whilst thinking to myself how ridiculous this was and that there were far nicer countries out there….
At the age of 21 I went to a School of Ministry (similar to a discipleship course) in Canada. I loved staying there, the people were all so relaxed and not as stuck up as the people back in Germany. After 4 months at the school we were separated into groups and sent to many different places across the world in order to put into practice what we had been learning. My group went to Oklahoma, USA. There we were loved to bits, spoiled, were given gifts and literally received more than what we gave away.
One day there was an intercession conference during our time there. The lady guest speaker was awesome and I loved all the things she researched in order to find out what was going on in the spiritual world in her city.
She had a real passion for her city. One sentence out of her mouth broke my hatred for Germany. She said: “If you want God to do something in your nation, it is your job to love it and to stand your ground for it in intercession.”
This caused me to break down in front of the stage. YES, I wanted God to change my home country. But the kind of attitude that I was displaying towards it, was causing more harm instead of calling in the blessings of God. I ended up crying and I cried a lot. I turned away from my hateful attitude and asked God to forgive me.
When I returned to Germany after I had finished the school, it was as if my eyes had been opened once again for the beauty of our nation. I started to love our country, to pray for it and to see the positive changes that were happening
I had the privilege to work at quite a few Christian conferences and workshops. I experienced how God was healing our land and it’s people. Again, I’m talking about both sides of Germany and also the healing for the wound which was there between the two sides of the nation and which is still partially there.
My former apathy turned into an affectionate love. God had filled my heart with love for my nation and especially for “my people” – the East of Germany.
When my husband and I prepared to get married, we were asking God and each other where we would end up living. He had been living in the UK for 6 years until short before our wedding day. Therefore, we were searching for the will of God in this situation.
Both of us have a heart for and a call to the nations of this world. But we also have a clear focus and sense of something that is causing us to believe God has called us to Germany. We were both born and raised in the East, here we want to be a blessing for our country.
We are really excited looking at what He is doing, if we let HIM have HIS will without hesitation and let Him work out what He wants to do.
The purpose of my little story is to bless you and encourage you to let HIM use you where you are currently living. Be a blessing and watch how He is using you.
Not everyone is called into the international mission field. The people outside our doorstep need Jesus, a touch from Heaven. Where we are a blessing, we can also bring God’s love, pray for the people around us and change the atmosphere by the help of God. Bless the people around you, love them and God is with you and makes change happen!
*GDR = The German Democratic Republic (GDR; German: Deutsche Demokratische Republik [ˈdɔʏtʃə demoˈkʀaːtɪʃə ʀepuˈbliːk] or DDR), generally known in English as East Germany, was a state within the Eastern Bloc during the Cold War period. From 1949 to 1990, it administered the region of Germany which was occupied by Soviet forces at the end of the Second World War—the Soviet Occupation Zone of the Potsdam Agreement, bounded on the east by the Oder-Neisse line. The Soviet zone surrounded West Berlin, but did not include it; as a result, West Berlin remained outside the control of the GDR.
Today I would like to take you with me and tell you the story of how God has given me a love for our country in place of what used to be thoughts of rejection and a the desire to flee the country as soon as possible:
I grew up in “The East of Germany”, a child of the GDR so to speak. The Berlin Wall came down when I was 10 years old. My family had always believed that there would be a reunion of the two countries and this hope was based on a prophetic word Reinhard Bonnke had received before he went to Africa as an evangelist. Of course no one knew what that would look like.
We had already experienced some wonderful charismatic awakenings back then – in the GDR times – and I was used to experiencing God. I made my decision for Jesus fairly early in life and lived in a close relationship with Him.
When the Berlin wall came down I was convinced in my childlike faith that the two countries had finally united. But 20 years later I find it painful to see how deep the wounds of the separation still are, how much prejudice there still is on both sides and that a lot of Heavenly healing blessing still need to flow. A lot of people from The East have gone to The West, because it looked like the land of milk and honey to them. There were promises of better jobs and higher wages. This led to our part of the country bleeding out of the young people, leaving the elderly behind. There were literally regions where all young people had gone, only the older generations were left behind and hopelessness was spreading.
I didn’t really have an eye for all of that for a long time and all I was concerned about was trying to get away from this nation and go somewhere else in the world. I was looking at various options and when foreign visitors where praising the beauty of Germany I always thought to myself: “Its so much nicer where you come from or in these other countries.” I couldn’t find anything beautiful about Germany. I was so ashamed for Germany’s recent history and was dreading to answer “Germany” whenever someone asked me where I was from.
It was my desire that God would give Revival to Germany and people would receive healing in body, soul and spirit. But I couldn’t find any love for my people inside myself.
Grabbing the first opportunity I went to a school of ministry in Canada. I loved it there; the people and their way of living. I experienced a lot of healing in many areas of my being, but the “well protected wall” around my difficult relationship to Germany kept standing tall until we were sent on to an outreach to the USA for one month. We took part in an intercessory conference there and I thought one of the speakers was very crazy. But one of the sentences she said hit bull’s-eye in my heart and this one sentence has thrown my life upside down and changed me. She said: “If you want to see change in your nation or your city, then you have to stand in the gap for it and pray for it before the Father.” Suddenly, it felt like scales were falling off my eyes and I saw the amount of hate for Germany which I unknowingly carried inside of me and that I had never really prayed for my nation. I broke down in front of the altar und cried my eyes out. I asked God to forgive me for my attitude, gave Him all the hate and asked Him to give me love for my homeland.
When the plane was landing in Germany on my trip back from the school of ministry, when I got off the plane and during the whole car trip home, the beauty of Germany amazed me. For the first time I could see this nation with a passionate love and a fire for our country had been awoken on the inside of me.
I had another key moment 2 months after the school of ministry. I had been writing worship songs for years, but the lyrics were always in English. One day I was worshiping Jesus and He said to me: “If you really want to reach your nation through your songs and for them to lead the people into my presence, they need to be in German.” And again it felt like scales falling off my eyes and I saw how deep the rejection for my nation was rooted. I was even renouncing my mother tongue! I repented once again and ask God to forgive me. And within a few short minutes He gave me a really precious song, which has led many people into His presence since then. Wow! God is so good.
A lot of years have gone by since all of this happened and I’m privileged to experience how God touches our country and gives healing. I also had the privilege to serve alongside many men and women of God from all over the world and to make “my” country palatable to them. J God has replaced the hate with a deep love for our nation. He has also given me a special love and a holy zeal for “The East” with the aim to experience him right here and to make Him known in this area. We have experienced Signs and Wonders here and there, but I’m expecting SO much more. I’m looking forward to how this adventure will proceed. God is good and I have the privilege to experience how He is healing hearts, closing wounds and how He is working reconciliation amongst us. Wow!
I was astonished and perplex when Corrie’s small, but excellent Email reached me at the beginning of October 2012. The weeks prior to receiving her message I had spent some time with her via Facebook and Skype. I was able to minister to her with the help of God’s (Agape) love in my heart as much as she was prepared to receive. But it was not my intention to win Corrie for a love relationship.
We had been loosely connected friends for some years and had initially met each other during a Christian conference about the love of God the Father. We had met each other every now and then through joined friends and also online.
During the weeks prior to the mentioned Email I was just there for her when she wasn’t very well after her relationship to another guy had failed. I just offered an open ear and was one of her encouragers.
Our friendship wasn’t going beyond a chat from time to time and some practical help with computer issues. Well, that’s what I thought at least.
I was quite blind emotionally until October 2012 and I didn’t realize the good things that were coming up on the horizon of my life.
At the end of 2011 I made a comment to my Mom, that was meant to be a dry joke, but was also partially serious. We had discussed the chances that I’d bring some grandchildren home some day and I asked her to prepare herself to see me becoming a monk very soon. I think I left her quite shocked and hurt. I’m sorry about that today.
My situation looked like a one way street in my view. God’s overview was and is much better!
I had my first serious relationship between 1998 and 1999. The girl pretended to be a Christian, to do me a favour. I can’t really remember why we broke up. But I was definitely not ready for this kind of commitment at the time. A few months later I had another relationship with a girl with whom I shared some precious days. Todays she’s married to the right guy and it wasn’t meant to be me.
But I was meant to be married since May 2005. My then fiancé and I attended a theological seminary together and had planned to get married after the first school year. 2 weeks before the wedding date it all went pear shaped. It was her decision and I’m yet to find out the reason for it. But I’m sure it wasn’t easy and equally painful for both of us.
The years after that were years of pain and healing. I didn’t really long for another relationship of this kind and kind of got used to the idea of being single after a while. The flame of longing for a partner was kindled every now and then, but I blew it out pretty soon. I said to God, if there was to be a wife, she shouldn’t be German or from Saxony at all. She was to be a mixture of a woman coming from Asia and Africa. I pretty much made it extra difficult, so I didn’t have to go through the same stuff again.
2007 I moved to Wales in the UK. I was working in the youth ministry of a local church. During this time I also got to now people from a group called Emerge Wales. Today there are two groups called Company of Burning Hearts and The New Ecstatics. Both my local church family and people from these groups welcomed me with much love. A lot of time and blessings was invested into me and I’m very thankful to all involved.
2009 marked the beginning of a big physical change for me. I had suffered with back pain for a while and my local GP drastically told me that I had to lose weight otherwise the issue wouldn’t go away. So I began to do a lot of research online and in my local library to find methods for long term weight loss. I didn’t want any fad diets or short term solutions, but I was after ways of changing my eating habits and changing my life. Until Christmas 2011 I lost 143 pounds and kept my weight at that new level since then.
God, our Heavenly Daddy also used those 4 years of physical change to massively work on my inner self. Local friends have told me time and time again that my physical change also came with an improvement of my character and maturity.
Ok, back to October 2012:
I replied to Corrie’s Email and was careful to use the right words. I didn’t want to discourage her and wanted to honour her courage. But I wasn’t really open for a love relationship of this kind. Well, at least not yet.
So I made the suggestion that we would continue to spend time with each other and for us to take things slowly, one step at a time. I also wanted to take some time to chat to God about these things. Corrie thought my suggestion was mature and had no problem going along with it.
God really worked overtime on my heart during the coming weeks and on the 12th of November 2012 I had reached the point of no return. I told Corrie that I was prepared to enter into this relationship with her, under the condition that we’d both take this seriously and that we would have the aim to get married eventually. That was as much my thought as it was hers.
None of my previous relationships were formed in the way it is between Corrie and I. Within just a few weeks we won such a level of trust and emotional security, I can only stand amazed at God’s work. There are so many moments that we call our “High Five Moments”. Situations in which we realise, that we have shared passions, share thoughts, the same point of view about something, similar plans and many more shared things.
When I’m talking to friends and family about “us” I have often said that it feels like we’re twins in spiritual matters. We’re different in our personality and character, but in a way that we complete each other.
We’re now on a joined journey. We’re still separated from each other locally for longer periods. I’m here in Wales as God has called me here. I’m no longer part of the youth ministry, but I’m one of the leaders of the local church since September 2011. I’m also helping with the churches’ media ministry, take care of our church website, the Facebook page and our newsletter. The church is financially not in a situation to be able to employ full time ministers, so I’m also having a day to day full time job at the customer service office of the largest British retailer.
Corrie lives and works in the east of Germany. This situation isn’t easy for both of us. We try and Skype and phone each other as often as possible and also try to make visits.
I made my first visit to Corrie and her family around New Year of 2013. I was amazed and thankful to experience God’s hand at work in those few days. The connection to Corrie’s family was almost instant. I had a good connection to many of her relatives and family friends. Corrie’s Mom offered me to call her Mom, too. And I felt like I had known her middle brother Christian for years.
I’m very happy and filled with excitement looking at our joined future.
Can I ask you to pray for us? Especially during these days people in relationships need brothers and sisters that stand with them.
Corrie and I would also be happy to hear from our readers. Drop us a note if you like.
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Als ich Anfang Oktober 2012 Corrie’s kleine, aber feine Email erhielt, war ich erstmal ziemlich erstaunt. Ich hatte die Wochen davor online und via Skype ein wenig Zeit mit ihr verbracht und mit Hilfe der Liebe Gottes in meinem Herzen (Agape Liebe) ihr gedient so gut sie es zuließ. Dahinter stand nicht die Absicht Corrie für eine Liebesbeziehung zu gewinnen.
Wir waren seit einigen Jahren locker befreundet und hatten uns erstmals auf einer Konferenz über die Vaterliebe Gottes gesehen. Durch gemeinsame Freunde hat man sich ab und an mal getroffen oder eben auch online gesehen.
In den Wochen vor der besagten Email war einfach für sie da, als es ihr nach ihrer Trennung nicht gut ging. Hatte ein offenes Ohr und war einer ihrer Ermutiger.
Unsere Freundschaft ging über ab und an mal chatten oder praktischer Hilfe bei Computer Problemen nicht hinaus. So dachte ich das zumindest.
Ich war bis Oktober 2012 glaube ich ziemlich emotional blind und hab nicht gemerkt, was sich da Gutes anbahnte.
Ende 2011 machte ich meine Mutter gegenüber einen Scherz, der beinahe ernst gemeint war. Wir unterhielten uns über die Chance das ich ihr irgendwann mal noch Enkelkinder schenken würde und ich sagte ihr sie solle sich darauf vorbereiten, dass ich Mönch werden würde. Ich glaub ich hab sie damit geschockt und verletzt. Heute tut mir das leid.
Meine Situation sah nach meiner Ansicht nach Einbahnstraße aus. Gott hatte und hat da einen viel besseren Überblick!
Meine erste ernsthafte Beziehung hatte ich 1998 bis 1999, mit einem Mädel welches mir zu liebe so tat als wäre sie Christ. Woran die Beziehung zerbrach, weiß ich gar nicht mehr. Aber reif dafür war ich damals nicht. Danach gab es ein weiteres Mädel in meinem Leben mit welcher ich kostbare Tage verbrachte. Heute ist sie mit dem richtigen Mann verheiratet und das sollte nicht ich sein.
Eigentlich sollte ich seit Mai 2005 verheiratet sein. Ich bin mit meiner damaligen Verlobten gemeinsam ins Theologiestudium gegangen und nach dem ersten Schuljahr hatten wir geplant zu heiraten. 2 Wochen vor dem Hochzeitstermin platzte die ganze Geschichte. Es war ihr Entscheidung und eine Begründung kenne ich bis heute nicht. Allerdings bin ich mir sicher, dass es für uns beide schmerzhaft und nicht einfach war.
Die Jahre danach waren geprägt von Schmerz und Heilung. Ich hatte nicht das Bedürfnis nach einer weiteren Beziehung dieser Art und hatte mich nach einer Weile damit abgefunden Single zu sein. Es flammte ab und an mal der Gedanke auf, dass ich doch eine Freundin suchen könnte. Aber das unterdrückte ich schnell wieder. Ich sagte zu Gott, wenn es denn eine Frau für mich geben sollte, dann dürfte sie keine Deutsche und niemand aus Sachsen sein. Sie sollte auch eine Mischung aus einem asiatischen und afrikanischen Aussehen haben. Im Nachhinein betrachtet sehe ich, dass ich es Gott extra schwer machte, um weitere Situationen dieser Art zu vermeiden.
2007 kam ich nach Wales in Großbritannien. Hier war ich ein paar Jahre ehrenamtlich in der Jugendarbeit einer örtlichen Gemeinde aktiv. In dieser Zeit lernte ich auch Leute von Emerge Wales kennen. Mittlerweile gibt es zwei Gruppen: Company of Burning Hearts und The New Ecstatics. Sowohl in meiner Ortsgemeinde, als auch bei diesen Gruppen wurde ich mit viel Liebe aufgenommen. Es wurde viel Zeit und Segen in mich investiert und ich bin allen sehr dankbar.
2009 begann ein großer körperlicher Umbruch. Mein Rücken schmerzte sehr und mein Hausarzt herrschte mich an, dass ich abnehmen müsse, sonst würde sich da nichts bessern. Also begann ich viel online und in der Bücherei zu forschen nach Methoden zum abnehmen, welche keine kurzfristigen Diäten waren, sondern von Dauer und eher Ernährungsumstellung als Diät. Bis Weihnachten 2011 nahm ich über 63 kg ab und hab das Gewicht bis heute gehalten.
In diesen 4 Jahren begann unser Himmlischer Papa auch sehr intensiv an meinem Innern zu arbeiten. Freunde hier vor Ort haben mir immer wieder gesagt, wie ich nicht nur Gewicht verloren habe, sondern auch an Charakter und Reife gewonnen habe.
Zurück zu Oktober 2012:
Ich antwortete Corrie auf ihre Email und bemühte mich um die richtigen Worte. Ich wollte sie nicht abschrecken und ihren Mut belohnen. Aber ich war auch nicht offen für eine Liebesbeziehung. Noch nicht.
Also schlug ich vor, dass wir weiterhin Zeit miteinander verbringen und die Dinge Schritt für Schritt angehen. Ich wollte mir auch Zeit nehmen, mit Gott darüber zu reden. Corrie fand diesen Vorschlag sehr vernünftig und willigte ein.
In den kommenden Wochen werkelte Gott ordentlich an meinem Herzen und in meinen Gedanken. am 12.11.12 war es dann soweit. Ich ließ Corrie wissen, dass ich mich auf unsere Beziehung einlassen wollte, wenn wir es beide Ernst meinten und wir das Ziel Ehe vor Augen haben. Das war genauso ihr Gedanke wir meiner.
Keine meiner vorherigen Beziehungen war so aufgebaut wie die zwischen Corrie und mir. Innerhalb weniger Wochen hat sich zwischen uns so eine Vertrautheit und Geborgenheit entwickelt. Ich kann Gottes Werk nur bestaunen. Wir haben so viele Momente, welche wir unsere “High Five Moments” nennen. Situationen in denen wir feststellen, dass wir gemeinsame Leidenschaften haben, Gedanken teilen, die gleiche Meinung zu etwas haben, ähnliche Pläne machen und vieles mehr.
Meinen Freunden und Verwandten gegenüber habe ich oft gesagt: “Geistlich könnten wir Zwillinge sein. Vom der Persönlichkeit und dem Charakter her sind wir jedoch ziemlich verschieden, aber in einer gut ergänzenden Weise.”
Wir sind nun gemeinsam unterwegs. Räumlich sind wir momentan leider für längere Zeiten getrennt. Ich bin hier in Wales auf Gottes Berufung hin. Mittlerweile bin ich nicht mehr in der Jugendarbeit aktiv, aber bin seit September 2011 im Leitungsteam der Gemeinde. Außerdem arbeite ich im Gemeinde Mediendienst, kümmere mich um die Webseite, Facebook Seite und unseren Gemeindebrief. Da die Gemeinde es momentan finanziell nicht schaffen würde die Gemeindeleiter anzustellen, habe ich auch noch einen Vollzeit Job bei der größten Einzelhandelskette von Großbritannien. Hier bin ich im Büro beschäftigt.
Corrie lebt und arbeitet noch im Osten Deutschlands. Diese Situation ist nicht einfach für uns. Wir telefonieren und Skypen so oft wir können und bemühen uns auch um Besuche.
Mein erster Besuch bei ihr und Familie war um Neujahr 2013. Ich war erstaunt und dankbar wie sehr ich Gott am Werk sah in diesen paar Tagen. Die Verbindung zu Corrie’s Familie war sehr schnell da. Mit vielen ihrer Verwandten und Familienfreunden habe ich mich sehr schnell sehr gut verstanden. Corrie’s Mutti darf ich auch schon Mutti nennen und ihr Bruder Christian kommt mir so vor als kenne ich ihn seit Jahren.
Ich bin sehr glücklich und gespannt auf die vor uns liegende Zeit.
Würdest du bitte für uns beten? Gerade heute brauchen Beziehungen Beistand.
Corrie und uns würden uns freuen von unseren Lesern zu hören. Meld dich doch mal.
Corrie and I had the idea to start a blog in which we’ll share some things we’ve had the opportunity to learn, share and teach in various settings over the years. These will be from our separate and now united journey with each other and Papa God. We welcome your feedback. We would like to see you get involved. Share your Papa God stories. Your life’s wisdom. We will try to only write about things we have experienced ourselves. We want to share wisdom from a background of our own experience. Not advice on something we only know of in theory. There is already plenty of that out there.
glorycorrie & potamos 